Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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