Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
