I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
