So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
