My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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