I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
