Your tits are I can't wait for
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize