I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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