I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
