I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
