saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
