Moan for me like Helen Keller
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
