Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
