I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
