is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize