Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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