plz talk dirty to me
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
