How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
