So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
im holly from the hills drunk
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
