Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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