Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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