is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
bring money and cleavage
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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