I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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