i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
