woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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