You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I deserve this hangover.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
