hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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