Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
