Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
