I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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