Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
