Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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