Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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