need another drink. this is the easiest way
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
