Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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