ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
