Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
