i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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