clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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