Just cropdusted the office
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
