So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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