ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
