I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
