Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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