Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
