I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he was CRYING into my vagina
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
