he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
