She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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