all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize