Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
