Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize