so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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