everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
