so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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