I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
