Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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