im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
whose parrot is this?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
