i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We are all done wearing pants today
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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