I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
