New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
