What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
