Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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