a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
