i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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