im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
